Sports Enthusiast

NOTE: $1 USD = ¥7 RMB

The following is a true story, that takes place in China, of one woman’s mission to get a deal and one shopper owner’s quest to NOT give a deal. Do not try this in America as it may result in embarrassment and possible arrest.

WOMAN: How much is this purse?
SHOP OWNER: How much you give?
WOMAN: You tell me how much you want.
SHOP OWNER: Okay, okay, okay. For you best price because you are first customer of the day. I give you good deal- no one else get this deal. Usually it ¥600 but for you only ¥350.
WOMAN (laughing): No, no, no. Too expensive.
SHOP OWNER: Okay you tell me how much. What your best price?
WOMAN: ¥50.
SHOP OWNER: ¥50??? You joking! I tell you give me best price, no joke price. Okay, I give you best price beautiful lady…¥300. This best price.
WOMAN: That’s okay- I don’t really need it.
SHOP OWNER: Okay wait, I give you good price because we friends. ¥250.
WOMAN: No, seriously, I don’t need it. That’s okay.
SHOP OWNER: Wait, wait, wait- you give me best price. More than ¥50. ¥50 I lose money. Serious price. No joking.
WOMAN: Maybe ¥60.
SHOP OWNER: ¥60? Only 10 more? Here is best price- ¥150. Serious- I lose money. No lower.
WOMAN: ¥70. That’s my final price because I really don’t need it and I don’t want to waste your time.
SHOP OWNER: ¥70? Okay, ¥100. Final price. You want?
WOMAN: No. Sorry- I can’t go higher than ¥70. That’s okay. (Walks away).
SHOP OWNER (Shouting): Okay wait…¥90!... ¥80!
WOMAN (Shouting back): ¥70- no more than ¥70!
SHOP OWNER: ¥75- only 5 more!
WOMAN: ¥70.
SHOP OWNER: ¥73!...okay, okay, okay…your price. Come back, come back.
WOMAN: Xie Xie!

Did I really just bargain over 42¢? Yup…and I’m proud of it! It’s taken me 27 years, but I finally found a sport that I excel in. It doesn’t involve balls, running, or special shoes; it is open to all ages, races, shapes, sizes, and gender (although females tend to excel more than males); and when played properly, you can win every time. In bargain shopping there are some basic rules and a few techniques that will increase the odds in your favor, but the game is easy to learn and many become addicted after only a few rounds.

Rule #1: Go Low or Go Home. Your first move sets the pace for the entire game. Aim to pay no more than 30% of the asking price for most items, meaning the first price you lay down should be between 10-20% of asking to allow you some wiggle room. Shop owners expect you to make a counter offer so do not be afraid to offend with a seemingly ridiculous low-ball proposal. Keep in mind that sellers will not sell an item at a loss, and your objective is to figure out just how low they will go.

Rule #2: Don’t Go Out of Bounds. You are playing to see how low a seller will go, and they are playing to see how high you will go. Prior to stepping into the arena, have a price ceiling in mind and then stick to it. Sellers will also try to get you to buy everything under the sun so be specific about what you are looking for. If you are only in the market for a wallet, only look at wallets. It is easy to get suckered into buying more than you intended because the deals are so good (and often you will be promised a better deal if you buy more). However, if you only wanted a wallet and end up walking out with the full series of “Alf” on DVD, Hannah Montana boxers, and an I-Pod that only reads in Chinese, the seller has won. Trust me; no one looks good in HM underwear.

Rule #3: Play the Field. In large bargain centers, every third stall is selling the same thing whether it is Paul Frank bras, Gucci shoe laces, DVDs and MP3 accessories, or Louis Vuitton magnets. Visit different vendors to test the waters and figure out price points. If two or three sellers let you walk away from a sale, you know your price may be too low and you might consider going up a few cents at the next guy (and only a few cents…let’s not go crazy here). Shopping around will also give you a chance to compare the quality of goods. Merchandise is not created equal and everything should be thoroughly inspected and tested prior to closing a deal.

Rule #4: Know Your Opponents. Maybe the sellers are having an off day or maybe they hit the jackpot with some poor, inexperienced sap the day before, but you will run into sellers who aren’t interested in playing the game. You will know the non-players because they will be unwilling to bargain, they won’t try to become your new best friend, and they may even ignore you all together. These are lame duck sellers and if you choose to engage, you will most likely not get a good bargain because it takes two to deal. The best people to play with are those that will run after you, yell to you from across the way, grab your shirt, and even bike after you in your rickshaw (the latter of which I scored my Mao watch from). It’s a little like the dating game in this regard, because you need to be aware from early on that if “He’s (or she’s) Just Not That Into You” it’s time to walk away.

Rule #5: Everyone and Everything’s a Fake. Bargain shopping is like poker- you need a face for it and you need to learn how to bluff. Walking away, making sad faces, and acting indifferent are all part of the game; techniques that will drive the price down. You may say “I don’t really want it” even though on the inside you’re peeing your pants over how perfect it is, and they will ask for ¥500 even though they bought it for ¥30 and are willing to take ¥75. As for the goods, “technically”, knock-offs are banned from being sold so you should “technically” not find them in an markets, and if you do run across any faux products you should “technically” not buy them. I say, what happens in China stays in China, unless that Prada bag unknowingly happens to find its way into your suitcase and you get the shock of your life upon your return.

Rule #6: Know Your Limit. Around the seventh hour I begin to fade and break down. Bargain shopping is a physical and mental game that requires stamina and vigilance. Do not let sellers take advantage of you in a weary state and do not allow the opponent see you crumble under the stress. The best athletes in the world know that when you are not at the top of your game it is important to walk away, because playing below par can be more detrimental than not playing at all. After a few hours of going back and forth with sellers, you may find yourself becoming soft and conceding too early in the deal. At this point it is essential that you cease all activity and either call a time out to rejuvenate or pack up for the day and reconvene at another time.

I’ll admit that I have pondered the ethics of the bargaining game and the values it encourages. Is it wrong to fight to save ¥5 RMB (71¢) especially when I know that the seller is much more underprivileged than I am? Am I taking advantage of the game and my opponents, or am I actually doing them a favor by supporting the economy? Is it a waste of time to spend the entire day cooped up in a crowded shopping plaza instead of exploring one of the oldest and most influential countries in the world? Will my quality of life really decline if I don’t buy those Dolce & Gabbana socks? I can’t answer a lot of these questions. Well, maybe I can and I just don’t want to. What I can tell you is that the Chinese are arguably some of the best business people in the world. Wheeling and dealing is in their nature, and if they can make a buck they would sell you the clothes off their back (literally). Maybe I’m just a product of my DNA; genetically inclined and naturally gifted at bargain shopping. If that is the case (which I like to believe it is) I don’t feel as bad for pocketing the 71¢ because if I didn’t do it, the other guy would; and besides that, a true sports enthusiast never gives up a point without a fight.

Aloha, Soap, & Guava

In this entry I have to give a shout out to Hawaiian Airlines. I'm not playing favorites, because I usually book flights based on price and price alone, but I have to admit that there is something very special about flying on Hawaiian, especially when returning to the islands. The seats are still cramped; the food is nothing special (a 7-11 spam musubi would be better); and they have as many fees as the other guys, but there are some unique touches that make them distinctly Hawaiian and why I continue to fly the friendly skies.

1. "Aloha" & "Mahalo". At 6 am in Seattle when I'm still half asleep and lugging 100# of baggage (that I will beg to not be charged for), it's nice to be greeted by the friendly Samoan guy at the check out counter. Hearing it again at the gate and then about a dozen times throughout the ride makes me smile because I know that I'm that much closer to home.

2. I hate going to the bathroom on a long flight, but washing your hands with the coconut soap on a Hawaiian flight makes it all worthwhile. It doesn't completely mask the smell of the lavatory as you near the 5 hours mark, but it certainly doesn't hurt and I consider it a little gift of aloha that you can take back to your seat. I can’t speak for everyone, but my seatmate certainly seemed to enjoy it when I waved my hands in front of her face and forced her to smell it.

3. Guava juice is a must on any Hawaiian flight. Whether it’s those 4 oz. containers you get on the interisland flights or the Hawaiian Sun that is available on longer trips this is your first taste of the islands. In fact, you would be better off skipping the turkey sandwich and pesto pasta that they offer (and try to pass off as local favorites?) and just drink Guava juice.

There's little speech that is given on most flights landing in Hawaii, especially on flights from the mainland. It goes something like, "If you're visiting the islands, we hope you have a pleasant stay. If you are returning after being away, WELCOME HOME”. Okay, perhaps the soap and the guava juice don't make the trip. Seriously…as if sugar water and artificial fragrances could ever beat coming home! Still, there is something about all the little touches that make the flight special- check-in agents with flowers in their hair, Na Leo and Willie K playing while I board, flight attendants that speak pidgin- and make me feel at home 5 hours and 38 minutes earlier than expected.

Normal

Let’s review some of my favorite Chinese traditions…

1) Hawking a loogey. If throat clearing was an Olympic sport, the Chinese would take gold. In fact, I’m pretty sure at this past Olympics officials witnessed the skill and fervor with which the Chinese approach the activity and are considering it for 2012. Clearing your throat and spitting is a national pastime. It crosses all social, economic, religious, ethnic, gender, education, age, and political barriers and is not bound by any rules regarding time, place, or frequency. Stand on a street corner in China and you will hear the “aaahhhhgggccccchhhkkkk….ppppttt” (sorry, my pin yin is not that good) more times than your heart beats.

2) Honking your horn. There are four rules when driving in China. 1) Bigger and faster vehicles have the right of way. 2) Reversing and coming to a complete stop is never necessary. 3) As long as you can fit, lanes and lines are irrelevant. 4) Pedestrians never have the right of way. Whereas honking your horn in America is often seen as rude and unnecessary, horn honking in China is a life vest for drivers and pedestrians alike. It is a communication tool used to tell unknowing elderly pedestrians and bicyclist that you will be careening around the corner; opposing traffic that you will be crossing the solid yellow line and are ready to win a chicken fight if necessary; and small children that you will be creating an extra lane on the sidewalk so they had better find somewhere else to walk. It is obnoxious at first, but eventually the blaring horns become their own symphony. Hearing horn after horn reminds you that the city is alive, and thankfully, so are you.

3) Squatting. No, this isn’t just a potty pose. In America we stand or sit and in China they squat. Eating, playing games, waiting for the bus, cleaning vegetables, washing clothes, talking with friends, picking your teeth/nose/ears, and people watching are all appropriate activities for squatting. You will see it on side streets in traditional hutongs as well as main streets in bustling Shanghai. Is it a tradition derived from the art of tai chi or just a habit formed out of necessity? I don’t know. I do know that everyone does it and eventually, if you can’t beat ‘em you must join ‘em.

Cultural norms are funny, because although you may think that “normal” is standardized across the board, it is actually very subjective. Traveling forces you to reconsider what normal is. You realize that your view is small and abnormalities as you see them aren’t that abnormal after all. In fact, after a little time away you may (and probably should) begin to wonder if perhaps the only abnormal thing in life is you. After a month in China, the things that made me flinch and cringe at the beginning of my journey became just another hum-drum whatever. They were commonplace; no double-takes, raised brows, or “what the…?”. “Normal” is just a state of mind, and if you are unable to get over your small-minded expectations of what should be, you will end up with a big, annoying headache. Stop living in what should be and get on board with what actually is. If you can’t get over yourself long enough to laugh at the world (yours, mine, and ours) with the rest of us, you might as well crawl back into the box you came out of weird-o.