A Life Entertained

Avatar has earned over $2.5 Billion worldwide. Before I rant on, I’ll admit that Avatar was friggin’ cool—visually, theoretically, conceptually; I echo the praise of critics and “Avatards”. By the way, whoever came up with “Avatards” to describe overenthusiastic movie fans is a genius! You should have an avatar-you that’s sold in Toys “R” Us nationwide; I bet Trekkies would even buy it. Aside from mr. cheap bastard renting 3D glasses, I had few problems with the movie. Seriously, out of $2.5 Billion you couldn’t manage to provide glasses that were—get ready for the shock of your life—MADE IN CHINA? Once Avatar is out of theaters, what happens to the thousands of used glasses? I suppose they could be donated to a worthy cause as a tax write off, but I’m pretty sure Hatians are more in need of food, water, and shelter than they are of seeing Alice in Wonderland and Johnny Depp reprise his role as creepy man (once again turning a charming children’s tale into a week of horrific nightmares). Okay, I’ve said my peace. Avatar was all that and a bag of chips, but Hollywood could have been more generous with the accoutrement so I could have spent my $3.50 on a bag of chips.

Avatar was the iceberg tip of a bigger issue that I got to thinking about post 3D spectacles. Figures vary, but America spends between a gazillion to googabazillion on entertainment annually, which in the words of Edward Lewis is an “obscene” amount of money. The reality TV, iTunes junkie in me doesn’t blink an eye because I enjoy being entertained. On the other hand, the beauty pageant contestant in me that longs for world peace screams, “What’s it all for???!!!!” $2.5 BILLION? Avatar conveyed messages of environmental stewardship and peace—are any of its proceeds going towards these causes? How many people could be fed/clothed/vaccinated/sheltered with that money? Could we stop wars? Reduce national/world debt? Find a cure for cancer or Alzheimer’s? End sex trafficking and slavery? Bring aid to countries that need medical attention and clean water? What if every dollar spent on entertainment was matched with a charitable contribution?

I’m being idealistic, but hear me out. As I walked out of Avatar I had this familiar feeling—the same one I get after listening to a favorite song on itunes or witnessing Broadway’s latest sensation. It’s the high of being entertained and then feeling ecstatic about the world that I live in. And then the worry sets in as I wonder, has life gotten so depressing that I rely on entertainment to remind me that the world is awesome and humanity, despite our flaws, is still amazing? Do we enjoy the arts purely for entertainment’s sake, or have we lost an inherent hope and belief in ourselves and our world that we need to be reminded that good still exists? Does our survival depend on constant entertainment?

Apparently Avatar was only the beginning and we should expect sequels, which will no doubt cost more and gross more. By the last installment we will probably be renting virtual headsets for the bargain price of $19.99 (on top of an inflated movie ticket price of $25). I’m hoping by that time my dreams of winning a beauty pageant are realized, my faith in society has improved, and I won’t feel a need to see the movie; because let’s face it, $19.99 buys many bags of chips, and if I feel like it I may even give a bag to the homeless and hungry guy waving the sign on the corner.

Tipped Off

King County in Washington State has a 10% sales tax. Nationwide, etiquette suggest tips of 15-20% of the bill, although recently I’ve experienced a trend that pushes closer to 20%; anything less and you’re a cheap bastard. This means that if I want to eat out in Seattle and still hold my head high, this cheap bastard needs to budget 30% over the stated price on the menu.

I feel like the true spirit of leaving a gratuity has been lost. You eat out, you tip. You use the bathroom, you wipe your ass. In my mind, tipping a server is a nod to the quality of service. So why do I feel that some individuals out there expect a tip no matter what; as if they can provide crap service and still be entitled to a pat on the back. As someone who has worked in the service industry for many years, I know good service. I also know that service is part of the job. Good service, great service, even excellent service should not to be considered extraordinary measures—check your job description!

Yes there are exceptions to the rule. In Colorado, servers are paid well below minimum wage (around $2.30???) because it is expected that the majority of their salary comes from tips. If you are aware of this system in the state or county that you live in, than I believe tips do become more obligatory than gratuitous. The servers are in no way held to a less standard, but I may find a different way to express my dissatisfaction than leaving a small tip (unless you really piss me off).

Last thoughts (Confessions of an angry tipper)…

• If we add 20% to a bill for outstanding service, why don’t we subtract for substandard service?
• For the most part I don’t tip at coffee shops, bakeries, and take-out joints. Monkeys can serve coffee and probably do the foam better than some baristas out there, and they would be happy with a banana after their shift. You want a tip for getting my drip just right? The next time you see a banana in your tip jar, you’ll know who it’s from.
• Chinese restaurants (and a selection of other ethnic and hole-in-the-wall restaurants) are the exception to all restaurant rules. Food is outstanding, but they aren’t known for great service, cleanliness, or ambiance. Despite the pitfalls, my generosity comes out at these eateries where the lack of atmosphere is more than made up by character and heart (and FOOD!). I also look at the employees and think, “This lady probably has kids at home and is working night and day to make ends meet. She’s way more deserving than the kid at Romano’s Macaroni Grill who spends his nights off playing PS3 and texting votes to the latest VH1 Celeb Reality poll.” Unfair judgment? Perhaps, but stereotypes exist for a reason, and just because you work at the Mac Grill doesn’t mean you can’t make my dining experience an orgasmic one. The rat at Chuck E. Cheese can, why can’t you?

Personally, I’m down with the European system of tipping where no one tips. Servers don’t expect tips, and diners never feel obligated to leave tips. Service professionals in Europe know the expectations of their job and they do it graciously and willingly. In America it sometimes feels like pulling teeth to get people to do their job? Do your job and I will gladly conform to the societal norm. And when I’m in Seattle with 30% hanging over my head, I will be the one ordering a glass of your finest tap water and a refill on the free bread basket with extra butter.

The Blog Iceberg

Apparently I don’t know how to blog; good thing I never said I did. Today was the first time I opened up my blog in at least a year, and had actually forgotten how to get to it. Thank heavens for facebook (my official record-keeping system for all things sacred and holy) because it had a link to my blog so through my page I was able to navigate to my (other) page. Actually, it was my sister who first told me I didn’t know how to blog. Aside from the fact that most bloggers blog more than once a decade (actually, I did it 10 times over the last decade, which averages to once a year…boo-yah!), I’ve been told that it’s supposed to be more stream of consciousness, excerpts, and blurbs; not essays that have been proofread seven times over and sent to a copy editor. Oh, I get it…I’m writing a blog, not a dissertation.

Before I go any further in defending my blog-style, let’s review my first entry where the purpose of the blog was revealed.

“A word about this blog… Don’t like it? I don’t care. This isn’t for you; it’s for me…It’s my expression and a very cathartic one at that…Of course I hope despite my selfish intentions you will laugh occasionally and maybe you’ll gain some perspective that you didn’t have before. Maybe I’ll gain some perspective like blogs are stupid and a complete waste of time, thereby making this my first AND last entry. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted."

We all know that wasn’t my last entry, but it certainly wasn’t the tip of the iceberg either. Five months after that was written the iceberg just up and disappeared. Anyways, here it is in 2010 and I’m going to try my best to get back on the blogging bandwagon. Enough said, you’ve been forewarned.

So I guess I’ll see you in 2011?