Tipped Off

King County in Washington State has a 10% sales tax. Nationwide, etiquette suggest tips of 15-20% of the bill, although recently I’ve experienced a trend that pushes closer to 20%; anything less and you’re a cheap bastard. This means that if I want to eat out in Seattle and still hold my head high, this cheap bastard needs to budget 30% over the stated price on the menu.

I feel like the true spirit of leaving a gratuity has been lost. You eat out, you tip. You use the bathroom, you wipe your ass. In my mind, tipping a server is a nod to the quality of service. So why do I feel that some individuals out there expect a tip no matter what; as if they can provide crap service and still be entitled to a pat on the back. As someone who has worked in the service industry for many years, I know good service. I also know that service is part of the job. Good service, great service, even excellent service should not to be considered extraordinary measures—check your job description!

Yes there are exceptions to the rule. In Colorado, servers are paid well below minimum wage (around $2.30???) because it is expected that the majority of their salary comes from tips. If you are aware of this system in the state or county that you live in, than I believe tips do become more obligatory than gratuitous. The servers are in no way held to a less standard, but I may find a different way to express my dissatisfaction than leaving a small tip (unless you really piss me off).

Last thoughts (Confessions of an angry tipper)…

• If we add 20% to a bill for outstanding service, why don’t we subtract for substandard service?
• For the most part I don’t tip at coffee shops, bakeries, and take-out joints. Monkeys can serve coffee and probably do the foam better than some baristas out there, and they would be happy with a banana after their shift. You want a tip for getting my drip just right? The next time you see a banana in your tip jar, you’ll know who it’s from.
• Chinese restaurants (and a selection of other ethnic and hole-in-the-wall restaurants) are the exception to all restaurant rules. Food is outstanding, but they aren’t known for great service, cleanliness, or ambiance. Despite the pitfalls, my generosity comes out at these eateries where the lack of atmosphere is more than made up by character and heart (and FOOD!). I also look at the employees and think, “This lady probably has kids at home and is working night and day to make ends meet. She’s way more deserving than the kid at Romano’s Macaroni Grill who spends his nights off playing PS3 and texting votes to the latest VH1 Celeb Reality poll.” Unfair judgment? Perhaps, but stereotypes exist for a reason, and just because you work at the Mac Grill doesn’t mean you can’t make my dining experience an orgasmic one. The rat at Chuck E. Cheese can, why can’t you?

Personally, I’m down with the European system of tipping where no one tips. Servers don’t expect tips, and diners never feel obligated to leave tips. Service professionals in Europe know the expectations of their job and they do it graciously and willingly. In America it sometimes feels like pulling teeth to get people to do their job? Do your job and I will gladly conform to the societal norm. And when I’m in Seattle with 30% hanging over my head, I will be the one ordering a glass of your finest tap water and a refill on the free bread basket with extra butter.